People can be really cruel at times.
I can take blows pretty well, I tell you.
Not my first and I’m sure that’s the case for you as well.
Most times I can just shrug it off with ‘This thing happens...’ or...
‘Just not my lucky day...’
I guess, it’s my way to protect myself from getting hurt...
But as I sat, waiting...outside the office...
Occasionally looking at my watch...counting...
30 minutes passed into 60...
60 soon turned to 90.
I sat there in the middle of other people’s lives – it felt as if mine, alone has stopped.
Even the huge office has nothing more for me to explore with my pair of eyes.
I felt their questioning gazes burned at the back of my head...
I just ignored them.
Then, a song was playing from one of the many cubicles there...
And I thought to myself, it has been long time since I’d last listened to a live-broadcast radio station...
He hurt my pride.
They hurt my pride.
I don’t have many...but they have hurt me that day.
The Me that was working so hard and so sincerely for what I believe to be true...
For what has been taught to me growing up...
For asking what is rightfully mine.
They made me wait.
He made me wait.
I focused my gaze onto my shoes.
Rather than looking like a pair that was just bought 2 months ago, it looked more like last years’ reject.
We’ve worked hard these couple of months, haven’t we?
You and I, we’re a great team aren’t we?
Thinking back on it now...
I was saying those words just in my head but I felt my throat burning just the same...
The song was definitely not helping...
I tried my best to hold it in...
I’d looked really lame if they found me crying here like an idiot, I said to myself.
A couple escaped my determination – I quickly wiped them clean...
Cursing and blaming the song as I did.
Why the hell am I getting emotional here, I thought to myself.
Couldn’t help it...
I felt like storming out of there...
I felt like shouting at the guy who caused all of this...
I felt like quitting...
But as ignorant as I am, I know I am at their mercy...
To lose my temper not only will cost me my future but it will also affect others around me...
The thought of home at that time, magnified to full scale that I felt I can’t hold it in much longer...
Feeling helpless...
It’s worst than what I have ever felt so far...
Suddenly, a student of mine turned up and greeted me from behind.
I took a deep breath, returned the greetings and smiled before she was gone out of the door.
My watch showed 15 minutes to 4 o’clock.
I’ve waited for 2 hours.
Rather than my heart, my rational mind took much more persuasion to keep me from walking away.
He told me to wait.
So I waited.
Then, suddenly he was walking towards me with the letter in his hand.
He apologized for keeping me waiting...
“Don’t worry about it and thanks a lot for this”
I gave him a warm smile and he smiled back.
Then I was gone.
I was hurt.
5 comments:
Don't be sad...
im ok now. thanks jessy =)
being sad just change many things that suppose to happen
ouch i can just feel you sis
i was there once i mean menunggu macam orang bodoh sometime i tak faham manusia berjanji but tak ingat and then pretend nothing is wrong sebab i kalau berjanji mesti ingat - i pernah tunggu kawan nak main basikal dekat padang masa tu i was a little girl and my friend tu stood me up - i tunggu dia lama that was the day i learned on of my first lesson human :)
but life move on dear - just make sure with orang orang macam ni - sekali terkena is enough
have great days ahead k
and the latest post you are accepted for something somewhere? my congratulations :)
yeah, once is enough...but i just don't know, is it because im plain stupid or incurably naive, i ended up being the punchbag most the time...nodding, 'ok', 'no problem', 'yes..'...honestly, im tired of this. haiiizzzz~
thanks ermayum =) for ur story n for ur congratz. my research paper got accepted in a good journal. the only 'light' in my right now, not so bright life. hahahhaha~
have a great day to u too ^^
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