Thursday, November 25, 2010

that twinge of old Nokia.

in all 23 years of my life...
i have only used 2 handphones.
the first, was a Nokia.
the second, is a SonyE which i'm currently using.
however, if only my Nokia wasn't broken, i think i'll keep using it even in the year 2050. means something to me...
even now...
i really like that handphone.

i'm not doing an advert on handphones here...
but most people chooses handphones for its functions, features and brand...
eventhough my first handphone was a present from my Mom and Dad,
but i think it chose me instead of me choosing it.

just thinking about it, gives me that twinge of happiness...
i haven't had that feeling in a long time...
and i kind of missed it today.

while i busied myself pretending not to look for that 'face'...
i kept thinking of my old Nokia...
the one that i used to keep close beside me every night...
the one with my favorite ringtone in it...
the one with that special 'smiley' i received...
the one filled with precious 'saved messages'...
the one i held when i jumped up and down in my room...
the one that made me smile all day...i just couldn't stop.

in the end, i did find him.
the split second where i permitted myself to look over and then quickly turned away...
i could feel myself smiling widely to the person i was actually talking to.

when i let go of my old nokia, i thought some part of me left along with it.
i was afraid where the part that felt like a 'stumped' won't ever 'grow' back.
i'd rather choose not to than to not be able to...
there's a difference.

what i like most about my old Nokia was its blue light.
it shines in the dark every time a new message was in...
and for every single time when it did, without fail...i felt that twinge of happiness.

i felt that too, today.

picture by yun popnut (

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

like we always sister and me.

my Mom called me earlier this morning.
she told me that my sister has started going into labor...
looks like my first nephew is ready to go out into the world.
been waiting for this day, since i first heard the news that my sis is pregnant.
feels different when your sister is getting a baby than when it is your brother...

i'm not good with little kids...i can't make silly faces to get them to smile...
i don't know how and i don't even try.
but this time around...for this little boy...i'll try.
i can't wait to see you in the 'lil cow' clothes that i've bought you...
with that hoodie attached at the back and the stuffed black-tail at the bottom...

i went back home last weekend.
and for the longest time that i could remember...
we sister and i.
like we always we always had... when we were little.
lying on the bed...we shared stories until dawn.

we talked about things have turned out different from the way we planned it to be...
she's married now and about to have a baby...i think, you are lucky in this part, Sis.
brother Su is great...and having a family is great.

though it's a little regretful and sad how you said that you stuck with your current job...
to me, it's like you have given up on dreams.
i felt a twinge in my stomach when you said that...
because i couldn't imagine my life without one.
i hope you'll find it again someday.
and this time around, make it real...with the support from your family.
even when you've reached 30 or's not too late. never too late.
it's just that, i'll get my MA before you. heheheheh...

our family is getting bigger.
hope, everything will be fine...
i'll wait for the good news patiently and i'll come home as soon as i can.
all the best, Sis...

from an annoying brat to a hot-tempered teenager...
from someone's wife to the mother of my first nephew...
you've grown okay.

i'll see you soon.

lots of luv,

Monday, November 15, 2010

somebody out there

i like it when my friends call me to tell their days stories.
new BF...
sad stories...happy stories....anything that is weighing on their hearts.
i'll be happy on their part...
i'll be sad on their part too.

i think, God created the world with so many people to show that we are not alone.
i can't imagine living in an isolated world - i'll live but not actually 'living'.

i talk all the time with my roommate.
eventhough, i have only known her for about 6 months but, we could share anything between ourselves.
i really enjoy that.

my best friend sent me a MMS - picture of her license the day she got it.
i was really happy that she shares that with me.
even more that we are now far apart and i didn't get to see her much since i continued my study.

my big sis call me often to update me on my first nephew.
i must say i can't wait to meet Rayyan - i'm gonna spoil him rotten =)

one of my coursemate shares her big news with me today.
actually i have known about it through FB but still i was wondering when she would tell me personally.
she did. just a tad bit late. that's okay =)

my Mom call me regularly to complain about Dad or about her days up at the stall joint.
Dad call mostly just to inform me if any mail has arrived for me at home.
but we SMS often.

i talk a lot with my lil sis. can't wait to go back for this holiday to catch up on some stories.
i'll get to be a king when she's around - i order her around but she never say no to me.

i gain new good friend at the start of term - we chat online almost everyday eventhough we see each other all the time in class.
she's crazy...well, i'm too =)

why am i writing this down?
just to show you that somebody is out there - for you to talk to and be heard.
just reach out and be that good friend, daugther and sister you hope to be.

then others will be the same to you.

you don't have to be alone.

lots of luv,

Friday, November 12, 2010

a gift from twitter =)

tomorrow will be my last exam for this semester.
while i was feeling worried and anxious, my hp suddenly alerted me to one of Jaejoong's tweet.
and this is how it goes...

"There are so many waves crashing down on us. Though the road we must travel down is so far and long, we must not stop.. The moment we do, we will be giving up on the road to becoming adults and we'll fall into a bottomless abyss. Though we are just beginning to experience what it's like to become adults, I want us to step into a bigger world that we can't see yet with the best weapon we could hope to have, the fact that we are still young.Let's all be strong^^ I'm always thankful!"

by, Kim Jaejoong.

i'm sharing this tweet because i've received strength from it.
hope it'll help you too.


Monday, November 8, 2010

moments with rain

i was busy taking pictures of the sky and rain
that i've forgotten all about my clothes hanging outside.
and as the rain gained its momentum, my clothes steadily get soaked up by all the water.

hahahhahah...the clotheslines is just outside my window, you see.
and i was taking pictures by my window....haiiiiz~
why, oh why, i couldn't piece the two together?
rain + clothes = wet clothes = pain in the ass

oh well, think i'll go and find something to eat after this.

lots of luv,

small life in the concrete floor

i was waiting for the bus (as usual...)
when i suddenly noticed something green has sprung out from the bus stand's floor.

too absorbed with own thinking, sometimes makes us missed things...
the wind was blowing...suddenly, i remembered a familiar memory such as this one...
i was waiting too - a younger me...

it was a small plant.
or would you rather call it a small tree?
nuh, i don't think so. it only has a few leaves, you see.

so fragile - but yet, manages to worm out of the tiled floors.
the way i see it, it is kind of incredible.
works hard just to be able to bathe in sunshine...

"hard for you too, huh?"

i guess, it hasn't been easy for anybody.
life, that is.

"but, i shouldn't give up huh?"
"ok. i'll keep looking up at the sky and move forward".

"you should too"

Monday, November 1, 2010

my weakness - sweet smile =)

you guys know that i like JYJ's jaejoong, right?
i think i have well established that part. =)
pretty obvious - as you can see from my blog.
his picture is larger than mine.

my sister jokingly said that she's going to find me a guy that look like jaejoong.
i was like, "ok.....". Goooood is it possible to find that 'face' here or anywhere else?
it's not like its on sale at Giant or something. Hahahah~

anyway, i can't really say what's my type actually is...
if i like the guy, than he's my type. only then, i can really specify.
however, i've noticed from the past that i have sort of a weakness towards guys with sweet smile.

Oh, God! this is so embarrassing!

* am melting *

lots of luv,