Wednesday, January 25, 2012

the sea...


After a long time....
I went to the beach last Sunday.
An opportunity, perhaps.
Was it a wish came true?
I am not sure...

But it was definitely...
A pleasant coincidence I’d never expected to happen...
I’d never foretold...
A once-in-blue-moon thing...
In the line of work...after spending hours on research papers in a room full of professors and lecturers...
I decided to reward myself at the moment when that SMS came through...

At 5.45, I was walking down by the beach...
Still in my working clothes...white blouse but with jeans since it was Sunday...
So wedges, instead of stilettos....
Feeling the warm-balmy air on my face while smooth-crumpling sand touched my feet...
Tingling at first...but a never forgotten sensation...
a definitely missed,
after all this time...

It was freeing...

I can't help but wonder, was i not 'free' before?

Sunday, January 15, 2012

Smile ^^



Like these two pic-quotes that I've posted...
I wanna try smiling at life.
Why?
Because I'm tired of bringing myself down.
Others are doing it to me all the time, so why should I be mean to myself too?

Let's help each other out....Smile! ^^
I'm doing it, you should too~

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

For my friend, on her special day...


So, here it is.
I drew this for a friend of mine who's getting married soon.
Honestly, I think I did a very poor job...it's sloppy.
I don't know why anybody would want to keep this....
But still, I did it...for her.

The objects in the drawings are symbols of love that she shares with her future husband...memories that connect them together.
...the love letter...one rose...chocolates....

Congratulation, Nadiah. I'm so happy for you.
Sorry I couldn't make it on the big day...
But please know, my prayers are with you always ^^

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

becoming more YOU


I guess...
I am one of those people that act or say things without thinking.
As much as I don’t want to be...
As much as I try not to be...

My mouth spits bullets and shreds of glass...
Especially when it comes to certain matters that never failed to ‘tick’ me off every time.
As if testing me to see whether I am being true to my words...
Such occasions are abundance these past couple of days...
And I’m reduced to guilt and dislike towards myself every time.
Sucks....

I’m beginning to understand that it is wrong to force my ‘logic’ onto others...
Because mine...might be unacceptable to them.

How is it that to certain people I am able to tolerate more than others?
Why is it that the disappointment is painful when it involved someone close to you?
I don’t understand it...
How do you show that you care?
And to whom should you care?

As time goes by, the more I feel that the phrase ‘growing up’ is just a pile of bull crap.
There is no such thing.
It feels more like becoming more YOU.

Some adults do worse than the average adolescences.
Some adolescence does better at life than adults.

The ME in the present understands more of ‘me’ in the past.
It feels as if...it is not wisdom that comes along with the years of living...
It is the ability to ‘understand’ YOU and then, the others.
Only then, perhaps comes wisdom, I don’t know...

Nothing is always right.
Nothing is always wrong.
As you accept that nobody is perfect, don’t forget to accept the fact that
you are not perfect as well.

It seems that every bit of searching done while living,
...the sufferings...the doubt...the regrets...the mistakes...
Are all a part of a bigger picture, not an answer.
I should stop searching for a ‘pattern’ that works for every little thing.
There is never one to begin with.

It’s just life.

At least, I am more aware now...it might not count for much....
But I'm getting there - that means something.
You should know that too.