How many points would you give for love?

I used to think that once a child has grown up...
She will stop loving her parents unconditionally.
Because when the ‘head’ interferes with the ‘heart’, its ‘analysis’ then, becomes ‘figurative’ and ‘factual’.
But now that I’ve somewhat grown up...I think it’s the opposite.

As a little kid...
Every time Mom took me out shopping for new clothes, my love for her tended to spike really high.
When she cooked my favourite meals...the surprise when she seems to be channelling my ‘stomach’ – picking up ‘cake alerts’ or ‘hungry vibration’ – I felt loved...and cared for.
The hospital stay became bearable each time because I’ll be waiting for her to come through those doors with home-cooked breakfast.
The small things...
Like when she waited with an umbrella outside my class on rainy days...
How she prepares, even now when I am at home...two glasses – one Milo, one cold water – for me at breakfast because I hated the taste of Milo in my mouth after sometimes.

I know Mom feels kind of left out sometimes, when I talk more to Dad about stuff...
So, this is how we connect... I change a little bit of myself around her, not out of pretence, but because I care. I appreciate. I am grateful.
I know Mom well enough now...she can’t handle stress and problem well... she panics easily and I see that not all of my family members understand.
I tell myself always be a part of the solution.
I used to nag at her... but now, I’ve stopped.
Mom, comes what may, if u need me, if you’ve made yet the wrong decision...
No worries, I’ll make everything better.

I’ve stopped counting and waiting for new pair of shoes... I’ve stopped hoping for something in return for anything...
It’s my turn now, to buy you nice things...take you out for dinner... give you pocket money...
Your gray hairs are spreading like wildfire on your head... time is ticking and I want you to smile when you are thinking of me... I want you to brag about me to your friends... I want you to sigh with relief when you get off the phone after talking to me...
I want to do right by you while I still have time...


We go out for a drive a lot... my Dad and me.
Even now, when I go back home... We’ll just naturally find an excuse to go out and explore.
We talk about a lot of things and now, I found myself quoting him in my head when things get tough.
I love it when Dad pays more attention to me than the others...

As a little kid...
The books that he has given me...even though I couldn’t read at that point in time... I always compensate with my wild imagination to understand what it says – because of that I get to ‘travel to places’ and ‘experience many things’.
Dad used to put me to bed every night...
And always...always after a cup of Milo.
The small things...
A pat on the head... coconut he took home for me that he found somewhere... weird –looking bottles that he knows I’d love to have... phrases or news papers cuttings that he knows will interest me...
Beautiful pictures from magazines or calendars...

I remember a map that used to be in my room – sprawled across the wall in front of my study desk that Dad gave me...
A map of the world.
Herm...used to spend a lot of time, gazing up at that map... sometimes, pointing at it with my finger at random to decide which country I shall ‘go to today’...
Our house might be small to others...but it is the whole world to me.
I was never chained down by its walls, thanks to you...
You have taught me that and now, I am passing it on to my students...

Dad, I know you try to buy me everything that I ask of you...
You repeatedly told me how sorry you were when you couldn’t help me with things...
But you know what? Your prayers... and your words when you say, ‘come home, I’ll be waiting’...is more than enough.
We never had a water heater...
Dad prepared hot bath for me during my exam days at school... standing over the stove waiting on the kettle to boil.

In the past...
Occasionally, I had to ‘create’ and ‘build’ some stuff that I want but couldn’t have...
But that’s okay; I have always enjoyed doing things like that...
If you asked me now, I wouldn’t have it any other way...
I am who I am today because of my family.
I don’t need to give them marks on love...
Never there’s a need to, in the first place.

Use the head to remember,
use the heart to return the love, to appreciate and to show that you feel the same.