I thought I'd feel better after a drive ....looking at greens and the sky...breathing in the fresh air outside of the city.
I thought the vastness of it all would somehow envelop and swallow the small sadness I have in my heart - renders it insignificant as it should be and then perhaps, makes it disappear...
But I was wrong.
The broad horizon only highlights the emptiness even more...
Screaming in my face with such brute force that I helplessly surrendered to the comfort of tears.
What was once done so easily and naturally without guilt, now is very hard for me to do.
Crying is an indulgence I don't want to give myself at this stage in life.
Crying was an indulgence my parents gave me when I was young....
This time words are somewhat powerless...and tasteless.
I need a little bit of time to heal.
Let me be.