Thursday, March 12, 2009

friendship is...

I would never claim myself as being a know-it-all when it comes to friendship - honestly, it is rather the contrary. But i must admit that my experience in boarding school help shape the foundation of my virtue as a friend towards others. And the values of empathy and sympathy that i have learnt back in those days, have proved to be immensely important when it comes to friendship - as it do cut both ways, don't you think?

I once, cried in front of my friends - shedding tears out of sincerity of heart but only to be smirked at, judged and accused of acting lie.
I once, shared an important secret with a friend whom i thought worthy of my trust but only to be betrayed as part of an afternoon tea gossips with the others.
I once, nursed a friend to health - bringing her meals and medicine, changing towels on her forehead in the middle of the night - but again, the gratitude was soon forgotten as soon as the word 'thank you' escaped from her lips.

So, i am sure by now you could understand why if i say the numbers of people whom i could really call as friends can be counted with just a set of hands - i'd say you wouldn't be the least, surprise. Most of the time, i find myself unconsciously putting on a 'mask'. Let's say in a group of quiet people, i shall be the most talkative. But if the group has its own share of laughter or leadership, then i shall remain whatever characters as i see fit or that it demands of me. Just like Rosalind in Shakespeare when she disguises as a male persona, i on the other hand, found freedom and comfort by putting on the mask - always choosing a different set of masks to suit other people's character.

But a certain change of luck in life, have destined me to get acquainted - finally - with some great souls who i am proud to call as friends. They are the ones who make me laugh; who make me sad; who remember my birthday and who are there for me - even when i feel like i don't deserve them.

I now know that friendship does not really demand a great deal of anything. It just requires you to share a bit of your time; your love and your loyalty. Apart from that, everything else comes naturally as to how much you value that friendship.

at of this moment, i am no longer wearing any mask.

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