Meanings

Once, I told my lecturer about my plans for the semester holidays.

At the time, I was planning to work part-time at a bookstore, back in my hometown.

Starting from when I was 14, with the money I received as scholarship, I used to go there everyday to buy English novels.

Well, at first not really everyday....It took me weeks for me to finish my first novel.

It was one of Montgomery’s series of Anne’s Chronicles – ‘Anne of the Isle’.

I selected it with ease and without much fuss because it was like love at the first sight.

From the title to the cover page and to its story summary at the back, I couldn’t help thinking at the time, what kind of world and wonders were in stored in that book through the author’s eyes...
Now thinking back, the feeling was akin to when I first got hold of my international passport...


But my lecturer upon hearing my plans, gave me a half-smirk smile and half-disbelief tone hidden behind forced courtesy as though such plan was worthy of ridicule is beyond my understanding even to this day.
“Such work is beneath you”, she said. But why?
Her focus into achieving her goals in life is admirable.
However, the more I learn and the more I mingle with such group of people...
The more empty and lost I felt inside; I found such world to be too tiring to live in.
With less to look forward to...

They take pride in wearing branded goods, having status and being mentioned on the evening news, travel on first class ticket, having expensive cars and if possible, more ferociously about their past glories and how it’ll continue into the future.

A simpleton though I may be, even I know that future is unpredictable and it is only optimistic beyond foolishness to claim anything of what’s-to-come.

 At the age of 25, I still don’t own a car.

I just got my license.

So, I took the bus like all of my other students when I have lecture or work that needs to be done at the faculty. Well as a matter of fact, everywhere.
Naturally, I’ve been labelled as weird and people have looked at me in disbelief and more pathetically, in sympathety after having discovered the true fact.

Frankly speaking, it is a pain in the ass to have to take the bus to go anywhere.

However...it is all but in our minds isn’t it?
Once I have assured myself of what I can do and what I stand to receive from this world, other voice reduce to merely but white noises.
Like from an old radio – switching them off is enough to do the trick.
I learn how to manage my time better and after years, my skill of predicting the bus arrival is legendary among my fellow hostel mates.

Whenever I sit by the window while taking a bus ride...whenever I see a person by the side of the road looking less fortunate than I am...
I couldn’t help but to ask myself, ‘Why should I be here and you over there?’
'What allows for such differences?'

Looking at how things are...'branded goods'...they don't mean much, do they?
Well...at least not in the kind of world, I'd like to live in.

How about you? What kind of world would you like to live in?

The older I get the more I believe...to be kind is the most important thing of all.
Be kind, for empathy.
For yourself, for those who are important to you...to uphold your principles.
In the end, I'm the one who has to give the meaning to everything in my life.
Not anyone else.