love?

i used to fall in love with the idea of love itself.
the butterflies in the stomach...the goofy grin....
...the happily ever after....

but now...herm, how should i say this?
i'm happy the way i am.
i'm in love with my dreams.
i wanna go and see the world!

to force me...
it will only make me feel like waking up in the morning but still thinking of the dream i had last night.
trust me, 'mine' was beautiful.
my first - it was short and sweet. but that's just life.... ;)

ask me again in about 10 years time, k?
LOL.

lots of luv,
moonshin.

(p/s: i bought this umbrella at a japanese-merchandise shop. cute huh? always wanted one. lucky i found that shop! damn cheap too! (^ ^)

i'm lucky number 7!

it took me years to understand about myself.
but it took only a couple of seconds for FB to summarize the whole thing for me.

i did a quiz on FB to find out my lucky number.
i was deemed with the lucky number 7 and here is the description that goes with it:

"People with lucky number 7 is peaceful and have an affectionate soul and by nature rather reserved and analytical. The overwhelming strength in number 7 is reflected in the depth of thinking that is shown; they will garner knowledge from practically every source that they find. Intellectual, scientific and studious, they don't exit a premise untill they have dissected the subject and arrived at their own independent conclusion. This is a very spiritual number and it often denotes a sort of spiritual wisdom that becomes apparent at a fairly early age. They need a good deal of quite time to be with their own inner thoughts and dreams."

my first expression was of shock. "OMG..."
my fav part was the last bit.
"need a good deal of quite time to be with own inner thoughts and dreams".
that's true.
i find that excursions or just long walks in the evenings...accompany with some music...helps me clear my mind - to be at peace.
i need to think things through about why i do the things i do.
it calms me to be able to understand things.

but that studious part is not true.
people read for exams, but i just want to know things - to argue about it.
i seldom share these inner thoughts with anyone- they are so private.
even if i disagree in class, i rather keep them to myself (have too many experiences where i shared them, it didn't go too well....).
that's why when my supervisor read my thesis proposal, i couldn't look at her straight in the face for a week. because i felt naked - like she could see what i'm thinking.
it's better now - she is so supportive for a weird student like me.

i open every 'channel' 24/7.
even when i look at the trees...the grass...people... they look different every time.
it feels as though i'm capturing pictures to be stored and used when it needs be.
i never restrict myself.
i find the details beautiful...
i never read newspaper. what i know is from the people around me.
i learn from comic books, songs, advertisement, even the wrapping packages at the back of a milk carton.

i deleted every assignments that i have done at the end of every semester.
i don't like to recycle.
i want to always be able to come up with something new.
i like to dream and think of something interesting.
when i solve problems, i prefer to consider everything - what people have done, does not make it the best way to solve it.

well, that's just me.
i want to equate myself with this number.
coz i think, i like it.
what's your number?

lots of luv,
moonshin.

another beautiful-ordinary day

the journey back from Time Square to college was uneventful.
despite it being saturday, i managed to get a seat as soon as i stepped into the train.
with my mp3 popped in...listening to JYJ's newest album...
i just looked out through the window - taking in the scenery outside.

i've just finished my first exam yesterday.
so this outing was actually a break for me from all the studying and work.
been planning it for weeks...almost calling it quits but my roommate talked me into it.
worth the journey - i feel refreshed. Thanks :)u know me well.

i hold onto the white plastic bag in my hand with care - don't want anything to happen to it.
inside, there's JYJ's album + Jaejoong's poster + Jaejoong's calender + keychan.
needless, to say...i'm beyond happy.

just a month ago, i would never think that i'll be meeting JYJ in person.
after TVXQ got disband... never thought the threesome would come to Malaysia...
but then, there i was at the showcase - shouting jaejoong's name with a red light stick in my hand.
n today, i bought their album which i thought 'mirotic' would be the last...

seems meaningless to u? well, i understand completely - you are not a fan.
but to me it is a big deal.
this is life, i guess.
unexpected and so many possibilities.

today, the beauty of living hit me so hard...i felt overwhelmed with gratefulness.
Yesterday and today was beautiful.
i know tomorrow will be too if i work hard.
just as jaejoong made it possible to come out with this album.

ganbarimasu!! (meaning, 'i'll work hard' in japanese)


lots of luv,
moonshin.

nobody is a superman

my father is a superman.
i think it's because he is my father, he has to be one.
the one who protects...
the one who always give in...
the one who guide us with what he knows about life.
he cares for me. he cares for our family.

the life that he has given me - might be small and insignificant to others -
but it is so beautiful to me.
there is so much possibility in just 'living' - i want him to know...
that he is a superman, at least to me.

he never cries...
but Dad, you can cry now...
because this time around, i'll be your superman.

i'm spouting nonsense, huh?
but you know what i think?
i think, people are the strongest when they think for others.
i might not be the typical superman that you read in comic books...
i'm not clark kent.
i'm not bullet-proof - i'll get hurt easily.
but the 'me' now, is stronger than i was before.
i'll protect those who are important to me and i'll reach my dreams.

if in another minute, something happens and i'm not a superman anymore.
i'll look at the past, present and the future...
i'll just look around - glance at the sky...
the life around me.

i'll be a superman, again. much powerful than before.

new day

i'm walking my own path...
slowly-step by step towards my dream destination...
where my ideal self stands.

each new day brings me closer...
promise awaits.
dreams keep on blooming like fireworks in celebration.
i have never felt such peace with myself...

i'll work hard today too ;)

keep your dreams alive

growing up...
i've lost my way a couple of times.
stumbled up upon a wall - couldn't see what's on the other side.
seemed meaningless - to keep on waking up in the morning just for the sake of living.

sounds lame to you?
but that's how it felt for me during those times.

my dreams are me - without them there's no me.
like a photographer with an expensive camera but without any inspiration.

keep on dreaming - keep the dreams alive.
don't find a hole to burry yourself in...
coz that will be the end of you - and you know it.

i have many dreams.
and within each new day, new ones are born...some are granted.
but for some that weren't, i'll keep them alive.

i promise myself this....
i'll keep on dreaming.

JYJ Showcase last sunday - one of the best days of my life!

i was jumping and screaming like crazy during the showcase!
so happy to finally be able to meet my idol - jaejoong.

apart from the obvious reasons - handsome, sexy, heavenly voice, hot dance steps and his six packs -
why do i like him so much?

that's another story for another day k?
want to do it justice.




lots of luv,
moonshin.

Sunday....!!!!

hehehehhe...
i'm skipping work....
not in the mood.
i'm bored...
so here it goes.
hehehehhehe...

can't wait for Sunday to come!

lots of luv,
moonshin.

Dreams come true

picture by moonjazz (flickr.com)

i got so many plans lined up for the day when i received my first pay cheque.
but before that faithful day arises,
i've spent my money-less days browsing through countless online-shopping websites...
i even took down some notes on them if i found the products pretty...

sad? pathetic? uh huh, i know.

i wasted hours imagining the clothes that i would buy...the shoes...the bags...that gray jeans that i've been meaning to buy since last semester...
suddenly, for no reason, i started finding faults with my pair of jeans.

Want to know the truth?
when the day finally arises, i did none of the above.
the switch turned 'off' - i forgot my shopping list.
i went straight home.
went shopping with my parents...
new handbag and blouse for Mom...framed picture of a beautiful scenery and a collar t-shirt for Dad.
i gave them both other 'presents' too.

then, i went out for lunch with my best friend...
planned an outing with my favourite nieces on the weekend...
paid half for my lil sis's concert ticket this coming sunday...

it has always been a dream for me to take my parents out - shopping.
to be able to pay for them...to me, is a big achievement.
i want to be able to buy them things.
i want to be able to help when they needed help.
and that is what happened yesterday before i went back to campus.
i was able to help my parents.
my dream came true....

i am still in my 'incomplete' stage but slowly...
i'm nearing my 'complete' stage.
the metamorphosis will end someday....

i will keep this feeling close to my heart, always... because the 'me who is giving'...
i like this 'girl'.
this part of me is complete.
i'm keeping her.

that girl....

i left my childhood self at the door, every time i went out into the world.
to be able to walk forward - i discarded her kinda carelessly.
to me, she's a hindrance - a weakness. a baggage.

but lately, i find myself thinking about that girl...
that girl, who burried wishes in the front garden...
who stayed up late at nights just to listen to a music chart that she didn't even understand...