LOVE

(pic from: http://jootix.com/view/1778/i-love-you-i-love-you-love-heart-paper-1680x1050.html)

Not being able to find love shouldn’t be the reason not to love.
Love can manifest in many things and bring joy to many people.

That is how I felt when my Sister’s lil boy, Ryan leaped into his father’s arms, coming home from work...
Every move he makes...every new little thing he does...
Brings about waves of change in my Sister’s life...
Brings much joy...
That unknowingly that waves, brings ripples to my shore too.

I saw changes in my Sister that I never thought possible.
She gives way to Ryan’s happiness in her own way...
Makes me think of how my Mom and Dad have always give ways for mine...

It is almost embarrassing to go back to those days where I was a child with a sensitive heart but without a mind...
Now that I am able to at least try and reason with my heart...
I feel bit by bit, the veil is being pulled back for me each day.

To have a place to go home to...
To respect elders and to help those in need...
To believe in dreams despite living in one that is without...
To have a strong shield to keep loneliness and hardship at bay...

For tucking me in to sleep at night...
For making me my favourite food when I am home...
For worrying over my little cough heard over the phone...
For listening to my boring stories and lame complaints...

For believing in me...
For giving birth to me.

I think, for someone like me...it is hard to find others who would love me so unconditionally outside of family....

I have to stop being so selfish all the time.
I have to stop viewing the world as revolving around just, me.

That is how I see it every time I look at Lil Ryan.
He loves Sis and Brother Sue unconditionally...
It’s almost goes without thinking...
So natural...
But there I was...thinking things over...
I felt warmth in my heart but at the same time, I felt embarrass with myself – the Grown-up.

Along the way...growing up...I think I have somewhat changed.
My love increases and decreases over presents and disagreement...
That’s....disgusting.

We demand so much from our parents but in return...
Is our ordinary life is all we could offer?
Seems too little...

Do we received and forget?
Do I....?

Every time I go out of my way to do something for someone...
I want to think of it as out of love...
Empathy and sympathy is based on love, is it not?

Yesterday, I have never given it much thought...
I didn’t consider putting a value behind ‘Love’ because I thought it was a given...

I was wrong and I was stupid for thinking so.