Tuesday, December 29, 2009

plain tired...

After all of my classes were over yesterday…
After an early dinner…
I slept for 14 hours straight – not waking even once, throughout.

As uneventful as it might seem to you…my everyday life that is.
It was actually, quite an awful rollercoaster ride.
It was a laugh – yesterday – felt almost ridiculous.
One problem snowballed after another – it took a really
huge toll on my mind and body.

I tried crying but it seemed that my tear ducts were off duty yesterday.
Tried talking about it. The words came as close as my throat…
Then, it got jammed there – unable to get out.
Tried to do all kinds of things…but in the end,
I was just plain tired.

This might sound a bit cliché,
but it did felt as if light has gone out from the world.
Though that effect was not realized until later when
I accidentally bumped into a friend whom I haven’t seen for a while…
We shook hands and the first thing she said was,
“Wow! Your hands are so cold!”

I think, it was not only ‘light’ that has gone out yesterday…
I was almost ‘soul-less’…

I switched off all the lights, silenced my hand phone…
I locked the door and windows…
Smoothed over the bed covers…placed my spectacles on the bedside table…
Pulled over the blankets – enveloped by darkness.
Within seconds, I drifted off to sleep.

I’m all wide awake now.
Been sitting in front of the laptop for an hour
…writing this piece of post.
Herm…can’t say that I’m thoroughly cured and that
my energy has been completely restored…
But I do feel slightly better…
And what’s more, I have no longer felt dark inside.

Feel like I’ve cheated – getting through the tough spots –
by sleeping.
Still…I’m glad for not being broken down.

Well, what the hell…living is trying and trying is living.
Last night might be my one-day Dark Age,
but today,
I’m starting my Renaissance.

1 comment:

ERMAYUM said...

it is ok dear - sleep on it - I do that then and now also - when all is hopeless - crawl on the bed and just close my eyes- but sooner or later I know I will have to wake up and deal with it - face it - retreat never - after all life requires a fighter :)
hope u can find enough air to breath or enough strength to stay afloat - that is just gooqd enough