Tuesday, September 29, 2009

i am many things

while waiting for the time to go to class...
i lay down - spread-eagle -
on the floor of my room.
i closed my eyes for a couple of minutes...
stopped thinking,stopped feeling, stopped moving...
just doing nothing.
just be.

i left the laptop on before i played dead.
the song, 'Gift' by Mr.Children was playing...
somehow...lying on the floor and listening to the song...
calmed me.

i noticed things inside my room which i hadn't notice before.
...i guess, i hadn't been in-touch with the world in a while now..
i even stopped writing.

there's a large 'spider web' on the ceiling...
an almost empty air-freshener can...
a jar of stale biscuits...
shoe boxes from the last shopping trip...
last july.

i've been trying to decipher myself and my feelings,
but only to reach a dead end.
i got into a hole and couldn't get out.

but now, i think things are not that complicated.
i complicated on my own.

after staring at the ceiling for20 minutes...
i realized that i am many things.
i change.
i grow.
i am a hundred different shades of colour.

i think, if i stick true to myself...
i'll be just fine.
even the darkest color of me - black - is still a part of me.

4 comments:

ERMAYUM said...

salam- where have u been - lama senyap-

cheer up and seize the day - things maybe is not as bad as what u thought u know..:)

moonshin said...

sorry...been away - lost - for a while. but i'm back now.

thanks for always cheering me up, ermayum.

Alessandro said...

I really enjoyed reading this post.
"...i am a hundred different shades of colour." - So true.

Alessandro
http://www.seekinthecause.blogspot.com/

moonshin said...

thanks, Alessandro. ;)

i'll make sure to check out your blog. please, drop by any time.