I am lost.

getting the latest update from miela-chan regarding my most favourite artist - TVXQ! has always been part of a special trust that i have of her.

going to her room...watching TVXQ's latest video...hearing their latest news...fantasize about Korea...laughing our heads off...occasionally, our hearts throbb at the sight of their perfect looks.

i simply admire them...liking jaejoong especially, with all my heart. watching them working so hard living their dreams...inspiring me...urging me to achieve my own dreams.

jaejoong is only a year older than me but...his name is already engrave in thousands of hearts across the world. i envy him...not his wealth or talent...rather his courage in believing in his dreams even when it seems unlikely to come true.

i envy him for his dreams...when i, have none.

once, i broke down. not knowing what i want to do with my life...the feeling of uncertainty...threathened my sense of self - i was lost.

how can you go to a place where there's no destination? its ridiculous.

but then again...if you just keep working hard today...that day somewhere in the future will come...it might not be soon but it'll come.

i used to feel nervous going back home alone since i am not used to public transportation... but then again, you just need to put a step after the other and you'll be there sooner or later. taking the same number of stops to go back to whence you came from.

knowing that there's somebody out there working hard towards their dreams, keeps my loneliness at bay. somehow the uncertain and ever-changing future becomes less frightening. thank you, TVXQ!