thinking back on it now...looking at life as a whole...it feels like a long 'summer vacation' for me. lately, i've been gettin a feelin that it'll end soon...25 years...herm. guess i'm finally ready now - as all of matters of the heart, i'll know when its time. ^^
For what, dear?
I don’t mean to sound patronizing but that’s a really good question. Herm...I guess it’s to start owning up to life? Be it when I’m learning in class, chatting with friends or family, going to new places and look at different things... I’ve always look at life as ‘collecting’ info to be put into different jars that make Me. I have a jar for who I am; a jar for ‘English’, a jar especially for ‘trees’, a jar for my little sister and each for Mom and Dad, a jar for ‘Chinese songs’, a jar for ‘jeans’, a jar for ‘dreams’, a jar of ‘regrets’ and a jar for ‘listening’. It took me 16 years to have enough in my jar of ‘Arts’ to be able to take the subject for SPM and aced it. Before then, my artwork had always been hideous and horrible. I had my jar of trees, jar of colours, and others to help me pull it through though.So life at this point in time, to me, it feels like a very long summer vacation; where I am this girl with a ponytail, a pair of sneakers smeared with mud, a bag full of jars with holes holding a net with both hands...I don’t want to be seen as an arrogant fool by claiming that all of my jars are filled with life-butterflies. But still, I am confident to say that all of the jars that make Me, are full enough to give my being, sustenance. I am Me and I have no regrets following this path I’ve chosen. My summer vacation coming to an end is by all means not a waste of time, neither it is a symbol of regret or past-longing, it is just another gateway to life with a more fuller-Me and a more rigorous outlook in life and in action. I’ll continue collecting more jars and filling them and perhaps, will have more ‘summer vacation’ in my life than expected, but that’s just me. I have my own foundation now; I won’t be scared so easily anymore and nor will I feel empty.
P/S: I have a jar under your name too, Dr. I’ve been your students for almost 6 years now...the day you bought the whole class pizzas, working with you on the book about mobility program in Indonesia, when you got mad at me about making appointment (hehehe~), the day when you remembered my name, and the time when we hugged in front of the faculty office after sharing that sad news (I wanted to console you but it ended up, you consoling me), about your cat, how you’d prefer bread over rice during lunch, etc.
P/S2: Love your new car by the way ^^ Gosh, you got my dream car... Take care, Dr. ^^
You think I over done it?.........i think so too. heheheheh ^^ but i like to explain myself, you see...so, there you are.
Lots of Luv,