Took me some pain...

Lately, it seems I've forgotten to remind myself to look backwards, instead of just forward.

It'll only make sense when we connect the little dots from the past to the present.

But I've been too weary of the future that I was a little bit numb to feel motivated or inspired or even to be comfortable to be 'me'.

I had a little bit of a rough patch 2 days ago...my parents were so worried about me but at the same time, clueless as what to do...

So they kept on buying me my favorite food...

Only yesterday, my Dad exclaimed, 'Thank God you’re eating! It’s gonna be okay....'.

Hahahaha...

I guess I must have looked really awful for them to be that relief.

I was being negative to a point I can’t do anything....

I sat on the stairs of my house for hours what felt like where I should be...I didn’t know whether I should go upstairs or downstairs.

Like in real life, where I stand – not moving.

But I’m ok now.

It turned out not to be ‘one of that episode’.

^^

Yeah, I am a normal human being. I do have them occasionally.

I forced myself to come back to reality...

As a result, today, I’ve fallen down on my knees in the middle of the road with my jeans torn, my knees bleeding and my sandal ruined.

Falling down is my bread and butter, fyi.

Don’t bother checking the road, I know its fine – it’s just me.

I forgot that I was walking like I forgot to tell myself to listen when I’m sitting in lecture halls for a lecture.

Definitely gonna be one of my top 10 series.

I watched this Japanese drama a long time ago, ‘Overtime’...

So, if I am destined to take an ‘OT’ this time around, be it.

I can’t give up.

I’ve done too much to give up now.

Took me some pain to override my negative thoughts to come up to a conclusion...
that's everything is going to be alright.

Because it's ME.

Whatever decision comes my way...like in the past...it'll be alright...

because I'm the one who makes it - no one else.