Friday, August 26, 2011

afternoon musing

26/8, 5.15pm

I’m happy but at the same time, I’m scared.
I’m scared if I feel too happy, it’ll jinx all the good things away.
I seldom get what I want...
Even when I really want it, I don’t hope...
Hope will make things worse if it is not granted.

But today...
Today is so surreal that I spent hours, enveloped in my blanket...
Thinking that perhaps it is not real.
Just like every other times, when it is all just in my head.

I’m happy but I’m scared.
I received a message from her via FB couple of days ago.
I was really, really happy but I’m scared if I messed things up again.


At last I sent that sms.
Now, i know and understand why I feel the way i do.
I think I like him. Maybe.

After that...

I got a call telling that everything is being processed smoothly.
Looks like i’m really a lecturer now.
Still find it hard to believe it.


Dad wants to take me out scouting for my first car.
The only one I like is Honda CRZ hybrid.
Won’t take anything else but ‘him’.
His my ideal ‘companion’ when i start my new life next year.

A friend I met on the job interview, messaged me.
We chatted for a while.
Now, I don’t feel at all terrible going to a new place next year.
I’ll have my friend with me.

I’m writing my thesis in my room, overlooking a window...
I could hear clutters outside my room...
My Mom and Dad preparing to break fast.
Actually, I’ve stopped for now...
I’m sms-ing with him whose on the way back from work.

I’m happy. I’m grateful.
I’m scared before... thinking that I am not being grateful enough.
But after I’ve written this down, I feel it in my heart...
Yes, I am grateful.

(^ ^)/ fighting!


Ermayum said...

alhamdulillah :)

hope u have a great raya :)

sabrinafaizal said...

moonshin hi :D you may not know me , but i hope we can be FRIENDS,
i have one thing in common with you i <3 DBSK :)
my blog

moonshin said...

Ermayum: Thank u ^^ hope u have a great raya too. n maaf zahir batin. heheheh...i still gt some duit raya, can u believe it? hahaha

Sabrina: Hi! Sure! I'll be happy to^^ all fans of DBSK are welcome ^^ I'll be sure to check out your blog.