Wednesday, September 29, 2010

highlight of my MA 1st semester!


i'm going to meet my idol soon!
he's coming for a concert this october!
i can't wait!
i'm gonna line up this sunday for the tickets.
lucky my pay-check just came through.

hye, i've used way too many '!' in this post.
just so psyched!

i think i'll have trouble sleepin already tonight...
and thats like...two weeks before the concert...
can't imagine what kinda state i'll be in when it's only tomorrow ;)

life been kinda crazy, busy, hectic and MONOTONE lately...
i like reading, doin research, studying and stuff...
that's why i've signed up for my MA in the first place, and i'm planning for PhD too.
but not all the time! come on...
gurl need a break here ;)

thank u for this...anyone out there...you guys too...

tomorrow comes like it has always been...
with the sun up in the sky...

am glad to be alive ;)
simple as that.

lots of luv, moonshin.



p/s he's my fav out of the 3....LOL! ;)

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

i'm not a superman

i'm not a superman.
i can't fly.

i'm not a superman.
i can get hurt.
i hurt pretty bad sometimes.

i'm not a superman.
i'm not bulletproof.
words sometimes are worst that bullets.

i'm not a superman.
i don't have super hearing or super eye-sight.
i'm not super anything.
sorry if i can't read between the lines or detect the signs.

i'm not a superman.
and at times, i need help too.
there's too many bad guys in the world, i cant fight them all as the ordinary me.

i'm not a superman.
he can't cry.
i cry. sometimes.
when things got so bad. when things got so good.
i don't feel like i deserved them.

i'm not a superman.
please, remember that.

Photo by Aida7 i'M baCk!! at flickr.com

Sunday, September 19, 2010

my one and only Mom

Mom ate too much food since the start of the festival...
feeling its after effects soon later, she had her time suffering from unmeasureable amount of uncomfortableness;
light-headedness, stomachache, heart-burn, you name 'em and she'd say she have 'em.

mostly things that have got something to do with the middle region.

she's been groaning and complaining non-stop.
but of course, none of us took it too seriously to make a fuss out of it.
just the usual nodding and concerned look (the "uh-huh, i know your pain" look)
it's just my Mom's way of fishing sympathy from the crowd.
god, if she ever finds out what i'm telling the world these days...
hahahahahhahaha!

me, heart of ice, remain as always the royal observer.
watched through the whole proceeding unfolding before my very eyes...herm, too familiar.
deja-vuish, even.
are we up for the usual ending or are we not?
funny things might cropped out unexpectedly - knowing my Mom.

but first allow me to explain.
what normal is not normal for our family.
so if the ending is unexpected to you guys, it is to us.
heheheheheh....(hye, i'm in a good mood today...herm, wonder why?)

okay, on with the story.
My Mom's not feeling so well, so the usual next scene must be something of a doctor's office or colored looking pills or a glass of ENO at least, don't you think?
to release the 'uncomfortableness'.

My Mom went to bed early last night.
curious of her 'cure'...i tiptoed into her bedroom (aha!).
i discovered two of her 'secret medicine' that faithful night.
as soon as i stepped in, i was a hit by a strong wave of her rubbed oil ('axe' brand, if any of you guys are from Asia, you might have heard of it...hahahaha).
by the side of her bed, there was also an almost empty glass.
i took a sip and there you go, i know the answer to the riddle.

i went downstair to the kitchen and openned the fridge.
there, sitting at the top shelves, was a half-empty bottle of 7-up.
her cure.
hahahhahahahah...shoulda known better. simple - saves you the trip to the doctor's.
she believes the oil is like a cure for ANYTHING. she uses it for EVERYTHING.

once, when she was in high-school.
her period-pain got so bad, she drank a couple drops of that oil.
the oil is meant for EXTERNAL USE only and for joint pains, not period pains.

gotta admit, that pretty hardcore. ahahahahhaha....
well, she's my one and only Mom;)

Saturday, August 28, 2010

a bottle of candy


if...for every scarred hearts that we healed,
turned into a candy...
will mine fill a whole bottle?

have i ever helped anyone?
have i ever 'healed' anyone?

the funny thing is, sometimes this healing works accidentally...
unconsciously...in the spur of the moment...
when you are no longer thinking...
only to feel.

this morning, i received a text message from a close friend of mine.
"I read what you wrote for Yat on FB. i dunno, suddenly I missed you".
although what i wrote on Fb was for someone else but it felt as though,
i've healed another.
i must have done something right to deserve this little joy...

Perhaps, my bottle is not even close to half.
a quarter? maybe...
please, do not be empty....

i believe in helping those who asked for help.
i find it hard to turn them down every time...
because by helping them, i feel like i'm preparing for a rainy day.
i hope that when my worst day comes, somebody will be there with a smile to help me through.

i hope, my bottle will be full someday.

Thursday, August 19, 2010

something, somewhere.


(today, while waiting for the bus)

I thought I was being optimistic.
Whenever something bad happens, I never let it destroys me.
I always believe that somehow, everything will pull through…
Somehow, everything will work out for the better, and not the other way around.
Even when it didn’t, I always pat myself in the back for having a job well done…
“You’ve done well. Let’s work harder next time” I’d say to myself.
“It’s okay, don’t give up”.

Whenever something difficult popped out its head around the corner,
I always see the possibility of rising above it.
Even when I’m not prepared, I just used my guts to get through with it.
And at times like that, my name really feels like magic words…
Whisper it slowly so that only I could hear…
Restores the faith in me.

but not anymore.

What has happened to me?
Why am I here feeling like this?
Was being optimistic was actually a lie to protect myself from getting hurt?
Was I that weak of a person?

The “me” 7 years back, was not the same as who I am today.
Something, somewhere along the way I have changed.
This gradual change happened without me being aware of it.
It scares me.

Without realizing it, somewhere along the line…
I’ve stopped taking risks.
Somewhere along the line, I’ve stopped being honest with myself.
But knowing the price that I have to pay to protect myself…
By losing who I really am…
That is not something that I’m willing to do, ever.

I want my hand to stop shaking.
I want to feel the rush of adrenaline when the risk I took, paid off.
I missed it so much that my everyday life right now seems meaningless…
and that pains me so much...
i can't be "myself".

Monday, August 2, 2010

7 days to graduation...

Needless to say i'm excited! ;)

never thought, i'd feel this way...
before i went to DECTAR to get my robes and hats,
i was actually...herm....i felt....(scratching the side of her head**)
thats it - nothing.
big ZERO.
i thought it'd be just like any other day.

but now, i can't wait to put on that ugly orange robes...
get reunited with my friends....
i kept picturing those scenes...
where you tossed your hats up up into the air?
okay maybe i watched too many tv. guilty as charged.

Monday, please come faster ;)



Moonshin.

my world part 1

My newest pieces?...sketches?...
i dunno what to call 'em.





Moonshin.