getting used to...

Unlike what everybody else is saying...
'getting used to anything' is difficult.
at least, that is how i feel.

i'm old now, i know...
there are certain expectations people imposed on us when we get to this stage in life.
whether we've agreed to it...
whether we like it or not.

people younger than me - my juniors - expect me to know all the nooks and cranny of campus life...
they say that i must be getting used to 'things' as a senior undergrad...
...used to get in front and do the presentations...
...used to sit in exams and get As...
...so used to everything that my life is like a walk in the park to them.
but in actuality, i am not used to anything.

everything needs - if not a lot - a little courage.

i expected that, after 4 years of living outside the comforts of home,
i'll be getting used to coming home and then, leaving it after a period of time...
but no.
there is this tight feeling in my stomach every time the bus started to move...
...every time, i kissed my parents' hands goodbye...
...the first few seconds, when i found myself alone in my room back at campus...
i'm not used to anything.

the only thing that i'm getting used to is...
how life's getting harder as you get older.
i'm not saying it as a bad thing...
just letting you guys know, that life's can be a bitch at times.(LOL)

it'll take efforts and courage every time...
i don't think that it is a bad way to live life.
a bit stressful, i guess.
but 'getting used to something' tends to make you take things for granted, don't you think?
herm....