JYJ - THREEvoices

Kyaaaaa~ (=^ ^=)

Afternoon rain

I woke up to a pair of big eyes...
Small fingers, small voice.

The movie that I was watching has long ended...
Leaving the wallpaper on the desktop, staring back at me...
I turned it off, absent-mindedly.

You were humming a soft melody...
Felt oddly familiar...was it from a long time ago?

Outside was raining...
Making me feel a little sad...
Such bittersweet feelings,
With a scent of sun.

What was I doing again before I got disconnected from the world?
Yeah...I could only remember faintly I was waiting...
Or was I, giving up?
Couldn’t make up which.
But in that little room with you,
It’s no longer important.

Watching the rain...
With your humming turning into singing...
I focused my heart trying to stop the time...
-to just be.

The rain stopped.
The air – warm and still.
Like a scene in a lonely art gallery,
Holding hands, we stood by the window...
With you, still with that ballad song...
By my side.

The rain might has stopped outside..
But in my world, it is not...
Because to me, you are my rain.

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just thought i'd share this with u =)
-moonshin-

So, I waited - like a fool, I waited.

People can be really cruel at times.

I can take blows pretty well, I tell you.
Not my first and I’m sure that’s the case for you as well.
Most times I can just shrug it off with ‘This thing happens...’ or...
‘Just not my lucky day...’
I guess, it’s my way to protect myself from getting hurt...

But as I sat, waiting...outside the office...
Occasionally looking at my watch...counting...
30 minutes passed into 60...
60 soon turned to 90.
I sat there in the middle of other people’s lives – it felt as if mine, alone has stopped.
Even the huge office has nothing more for me to explore with my pair of eyes.

I felt their questioning gazes burned at the back of my head...
I just ignored them.
Then, a song was playing from one of the many cubicles there...
And I thought to myself, it has been long time since I’d last listened to a live-broadcast radio station...

He hurt my pride.
They hurt my pride.
I don’t have many...but they have hurt me that day.
The Me that was working so hard and so sincerely for what I believe to be true...
For what has been taught to me growing up...
For asking what is rightfully mine.
They made me wait.
He made me wait.

I focused my gaze onto my shoes.
Rather than looking like a pair that was just bought 2 months ago, it looked more like last years’ reject.
We’ve worked hard these couple of months, haven’t we?
You and I, we’re a great team aren’t we?

Thinking back on it now...
I was saying those words just in my head but I felt my throat burning just the same...
The song was definitely not helping...
I tried my best to hold it in...
I’d looked really lame if they found me crying here like an idiot, I said to myself.

A couple escaped my determination – I quickly wiped them clean...
Cursing and blaming the song as I did.
Why the hell am I getting emotional here, I thought to myself.

Couldn’t help it...
I felt like storming out of there...
I felt like shouting at the guy who caused all of this...
I felt like quitting...
But as ignorant as I am, I know I am at their mercy...
To lose my temper not only will cost me my future but it will also affect others around me...
The thought of home at that time, magnified to full scale that I felt I can’t hold it in much longer...

Feeling helpless...
It’s worst than what I have ever felt so far...

Suddenly, a student of mine turned up and greeted me from behind.
I took a deep breath, returned the greetings and smiled before she was gone out of the door.

My watch showed 15 minutes to 4 o’clock.
I’ve waited for 2 hours.
Rather than my heart, my rational mind took much more persuasion to keep me from walking away.
He told me to wait.
So I waited.

Then, suddenly he was walking towards me with the letter in his hand.
He apologized for keeping me waiting...
“Don’t worry about it and thanks a lot for this”
I gave him a warm smile and he smiled back.
Then I was gone.

I was hurt.

Cute ^^

Apul wrote this in FB when i wished him good luck for his job interview.

"terima kasih banyak-banyak..nanti klu dpt duit lebih dari keje ni,apul pergi zaaba bawak saf gi jalan-jalan guna sports car..ok?"

*"thank you so much...if i got a lot of extra money from this job, i'll go to zaaba (my college) and take you out in a sports car, ok?"

hahahhahahah...too cute~
i simply just gotta share this with the world ^^
kinda reminds me of promises that I used to hear when I was little...

Thanks, Apul.
you put a smile on my face today.

walking on dreams

The usual threesome was foursome today.
I have Lil Rayyan accompanied me to the bus station.
I kissed my Lil Guy and bid Mom goodbye before I hoisted my packs and started walking towards the all-so-familiar bus, waiting nearby.
Dad was close at my heels.
I have this principle not to let Dad carry my bags.

He was talking about this book written by Tun Mahathir.
He wants me to buy it for him and that he’ll pay me back.
The usual scenes should involve me with a wide grin plastered on my face at the talk of ‘reimbursement’.
I always charged mine, EXTRA. Hehe~

But this time around, something, somewhere has definitely changed.
Because the next thing I said was...
“Nah, you don’t have to pay me back. Because now, this daughter of yours is already a working young woman”.

With that, I kissed Dad’s hand, smiled, waved him goodbye and boarded the bus.
Am I cool or what? LOL

I sat on my seat – the 5th – then, placed my laptop next to mine...
The bus started moving...I closed my eyes and hit the ‘play’ button on my mp3.
I added a couple of new songs 2 days back but never really got the chance to listen to it properly.
Somehow...
even though I was really immersed in the songs that I was listening to...
But the pictures that came to my mind were not of those from MVs or movie OSTs...
It was some of mine.

I don’t need to open my eyes to ‘see’ my hometown.
I know every street and every corner...
I used to explore them – alone – riding my bicycle.

Today, I had my boots on.
The kind that Jaejoong would like to wear.
But that is not the reason why I bought them in the first place.
I bought them because I like them and I want to wear them.

If I tell you that the scenes where I said those words to my Dad and me walking in a pair of boots are one of my many dreams....
Will you laugh at me? Or are you, at the moment already laughing?

I guess, if you did, that’s just understandable.
I mean...who would say that to own a pair of boots is like having a dream comes true?
Just weirdoes. Just weirdoes....

I am one of those weirdoes.
I just, am.

To me, living is like waking up to unlimited possibilities of my dreams coming true.
The 24-year-old-me has witnessed some of it coming true enough times in the past, to always look forward to the future....
No matter how dark...how uncertain it looks like from where I am standing now.

The day Mom and Dad bought me my 1st laptop...
The day they gave me a platinum bracelet as a coming-of-age present...
My first ever love-letter...
To have the chance to meet my Idol...
To have my name printed on an article...
My first ever salary...
The day I took my parents shopping...
To be able to pay for my lil sis’s concert ticket...
To have a surprise birthday party...
To have a cute lil nephew...
Sis getting married...
etc.

These are all my dreams-came-trues.
I have 2 more to add to the list, I suppose.
And many more to add in the future.
One of my students promises me that he’ll dedicate a song – his own creation of a piano piece – to me soon.
I can’t wait - another thing to look forward to. =)

I arrived at approximately 10.00 am...
in the heart of the city of KL...
With my pair of boots on...
I was definitely walking on air....
Walking on dreams.

no i love u or u love me back

Between an idol and a fan.
The relationship is clear and simple...
But yet, true.

He sings and the fan enjoys his performance.
At times, when the magic starts working...
The fan will feel a part of the idol’s world...
A place of just hope and dreams.

There is no expectation.
No I love you or you love me back.
A relationship consists of just those magical moments.

Sometimes I think, I’m ‘hiding’ behind Jaejoong.
I might say, ‘Let love lead the way’...
but quite the opposite, I feel things are better the way they are.
Nobody feelings will get hurt.
I’m just a fan and that’s it.
But in reality, relationship is often unclear and complicated.
I hate that.

I just want to go to Jaejoong’s concert and enjoy myself.
That’s it.
About relationship other than this one?
Let’s wait it out a bit, okay?
At least until I am ready.