Simple love...

if i were to fall in love...again...i wish for it to be nothing more than just a simple love.
just like the title of this song by Jay Chou...jian dan ai means simple love. (please correct me if i'm wrong)

My life, when it rains.

I just love the rainy days...

Whenever i sat by my window - watching the rain pouring outside, i felt calm and at peace.

With nothing on but a baby tee and underwear...
sitting on the winow sill...thinking about yesterdays.

The rain allows me to take a pause...for a few minutes, to just be. As i breathe in deeply, the air smells different...it reminds me of the scent of a newly mowed lawn and old paper. The air feels cold against my face - i became alive again.

I feel as if i understand it now; why trees need the rain to grow. I think it is the same reason why i need the rain to be able to face the world.

putting my face close to the window
my breath fogged up the glass.
watching the raindrops fall from the sky
unto the roof and on my window...
leaving a small trail of tiny droplets behind.

as i see with my eyes close...
the trail looks like a map.
and as i dream with my eyes open...
it seems to lead into a secret world.

on rainy days such as this...
as i sat on my window sill
when every boundary becomes blurry
my existence seems to fade along with the gentle kisses of the rain.

From a father to a daughter.

They say that "to love and to be loved is the greatest happiness of existence".

I believe it to be true. I wish I could explain my stance clearly to you - stating reasons, debating and discussing to our hearts' content. But I am sorry that I can't. All that I can do is to share this text message that I have received...kept safe in my hand phone after all of these years.

This is a message between a father and a daughter.

"De...we thank you very much for your gifts which we interpreted as a token of your sincerity of feelings towards us. Upon reading your highly charged emotional notes, both of us shed tears. Your notes have managed to touch our old hearts. As for me, I've almost forgotten the last time I ever cried.
De, you're always special to us in your own unique way. In the evening, we went for a special makan. Then, I realized I still love your mom like before".

...........................

"Some truths were too pure to be written down, or even said out loud".

(Excerpt from the novel 'Summer Light', by Luanne Rice)

we are of the same! hah!

We often denied ourselves of the fact that actually, all of us have a lot in common.
We work hard to establish ourselves as a special being.
We alone believe that we rise above others...or do you not?
In a harsh world like today, i understand whay that is important.
But even the best of people told lies...or do you choose to disagree?

Sometimes we claimed to have lied for the greater good...
...to not hurt another's feelings...
...to give hope and comfort...

Sometimes we claimed that we understand more than we really do.
"I know how you feel"......do you really?
"I think you are right"......how do you know?

But after all said and done, were those not considered as lies?
Than...you are not as different as you thought you were from the rest of us.

dedicated to all my friends...

Two days into the new year, 2009...and 2008 will be nothing more than a mere memory.
However, it was a special one - a memory of you and me.
Playing under the sun!

Honestly...i have no problem with being alone. I'm used to it - getting things done my way, going to places on my own.
I enjoy my own company.
But time and time again...i realized that it was way better having someone beside me. It felt nice...



Who are your friends?
Easy. They're the ones who make you cry; who make mistakes; who are there for you even when you feel like you don't deserve them.

This picture was taken on the eve of my birthday. At first, they told me that it would be just another ordinary gathering...
it turned out to be my bithday party as well!! Not even once it'd crossed my mind...
i was glad that it was my birthday.









no matter what happens...we'll get it through together. Thank you, guys. Yoroshiku onegaishimasu!

envy is normal if u r clueless

it is easy to envy others for things that they have in which we haven't.
sometimes...the feelings came even if we knew that it is not the thing that we truly want.
then, why are we being envious?

maybe we are envious...not because of the things that people have...but the fact that they know what they want and how to get it.

Soap bubbles & palm trees

My house has a blue rooftop-that is one of the things that i like about the house when we first moved in. its walls are painted white and there is a small garden up front full with palm trees, Chinese bamboos, flowers and potted plants. the palm trees used to be as tall as i am but now, it is already taller than the house. the garden has somewhat changed...i used to play here a lot with my best friend. for such a small place, we always come up with fun ways to pass the time. we used to play soap bubbles and water balloons...hang out on the porch till sun down.

each corner of that small garden marked a part of my earliest existence;
i remembered burrying a tiny scroll enclosed in an egg shell, sealed with a promise to be opened years later in life.
i remembered playing with tadpoles in the large drain beside the house - pretending that they were fishes in a small river.
i remembered the dream that i once had...engraved on one of the barks of the tree in front of the house.

although the garden still there...you could still hear the frogs singing at dawn...but that tree is no longer there beside the palm trees.

as much as i want things to remain the same...the house too has somewhat changed. it is still number 23, TJ 3/1 - with white paintwork and a blue rooftop but a little of everything has dissolved with time...

a rosemary wood furniture instead of the old dark-blue couch which i used to curl-up on, watching Meteor Garden and Long Vacation till late hours of the night.
an Astro decoder in place of the old video player which i once used to record With Love drama series on tape.
the twin Japanese vase by the foot of the stairs...the old papaya tree at the corner of the backyard...the big blue plastic tub which my little sister and i used to dip ourselves in on hot days...where have all of them gone too?

so much has changed in so little time. without realizing it, i am no longer living at number 23. just like a customer in a hotel; i came back for a specific period of time, just to go again into the outside world.

my life has changed.